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Hey Readers — This is a sexy, over-the-top romance that will make your cheeks burn and your panties melt. Skip to content Skip to footer Forbidden. Wear glittery outfits. Clean up questionable goopy spills. Similarly, most bosses who demonstrate Silverback tendencies do have redeeming strengths, which are often overshadowed by their narcissistic and domineering qualities and behaviours.

Once you find them and granted, they are sometimes deeply hidden , provide feedback to the person on what they are doing well. Remind them of their strengths which have a beneficial impact on engagement and results to encourage and reinforce these. Bide your time, focus on building trust and collaborative relations with the person and ensure any challenge is framed in a non-confrontational, solutions-based manner, aimed at strengthening the leader and team.

Until the relationship has been developed, rather than focusing on strong advocacy with this type of leader, it is probably more prudent to use more inquiry-based influencing to gain agreement. This combines powerful, open questioning with active listening and summarising key points of agreement arising from the discussion. Remember, that these autocratic tendencies may well be related to the very strengths that have made them successful in the past — strengths like Decisiveness, Leading, Persuasiveness, Critical Thinking and Results Focus which have gone into overdrive causing negative outcomes which the person is unaware of.

This lack of awareness, together with the defensive, unreceptive way this type of person usually deals with negative feedback typically fuels a vicious cycle of deteriorating self-awareness and lack of self-improvement. Any feedback of this nature will need to be straightforward, well-timed, illustrated with specific examples so that the person can see how their behaviour impacts you, the team, and the organisation, and well-intentioned.

Before giving feedback directly to the person, it is also prudent to rehearse the feedback with an internal confidante or external coach to ensure you fine-tune the key messages prior to delivering it. This will provide an additional perspective, help you feel more confident about the task ahead and ensure the feedback comes across in the way you intend it to.

Alpha Male

Similarly, even the most dictatorial, power-hungry leaders know that power built on authority alone is fragile and that without support of their followers, leadership is fragile. So, an important strategy in dealing with a Silverback-type boss is to build a strong coalition of support, particularly with people at the same level or a more senior level. A word of caution here — if the person finds out about this network of support you have they will feel threatened so it is worthwhile doing this in a politically savvy way and not trumpeting about your influential contacts when dealing the person.

Once this support network is in place, it will help you feel more empowered and confident when dealing with the person. Dealing with Silverback-type bosses and influencing them to listen to your views and ideas is never going to be easy. However, with the right mindset and influencing strategies, you can turn an otherwise confrontational, one-way relationship into a more collaborative, two-way one.

The starting point, if you choose to take on the challenge, is to really understand the person, including their strengths, positive qualities and successes. This will enable you to see the good in them and start overcoming feelings of fear, intimidation and helplessness that often characterises these relationships. Remember that even the most dictatorial person is a human with their own set of weaknesses, strengths, fears, and hopes.